Sunday 12 May 2013

3 Things To Consider In Marriage Counseling

By Paul D. Arnold


Marriage is without question a rough road for many. Some try to work on their failing relationships by attending marriage counseling programs and others just give up and move on with their lives. Although separation or divorce seems to be an easy way to get out of a failing relationship, it's such a selfish act considering how it affects the children of the family.

So, you noticed that you and your spouse argue most of the time. You seem to have no patience when it comes to disagreements that eventually turn into huge fights. What do you do? It may be a good time to reflect and turn to marriage counseling as a last measure. Of course, there are things that you should know for this to work out.

The First Sessions

Talking to a marriage counselor is wonderful since you can work out your relationship with a professional who has plenty of experiences with regards to marriage problems. After a couple of sessions, you and your spouse feel that the relationship is already getting better. With the inconvenience, cost, and the emotions involved in the sessions, you decide not to attend marriage counseling any longer, thinking that your relationship is going to continue to change.

Relationships, particularly marriages, aren't something that could be fixed with just a few patches of guidance and wisdom from a marriage counselor. Imagine tuning up your vehicle - if there is a problem with its engine, you cannot fix it just by fixing the spark plugs. This is the same with your marriage. After a few sessions, you deal with little issues but it gets bigger as the sessions go on.

Motivation To Change

The majority of people believe that people never change. However, people always change and it is something that you need to accept. Some couples may have a successful marriage because they were able to sustain how they feel for one another for several years and what they wanted in their married life. If yours changed, how motivated are you to change for the better?

If you would like to have a successful relationship, you should bear the fact that you need to change. Since life throws many challenges that could affect you and your spouse, both of you should be willing to change, adapt, and grow. Are you willing to work on your marriage? Are you willing to take risks and make changes?

Falling Out Of Love

Couples try marriage counseling typically because both parties feel that there is a change on the emotions felt with one another. Marriage should be nourished with love but it is actually normal for people to feel this occasionally. In a long-term relationship like marriage, ups and downs are expected and you've got the responsibility to work on it.

For the marriage counseling to work, there are rules that must be followed. These rules are very important to have a systematic approach on something that is fairly complicated to establish. Stop blaming each other, nagging each other, and have an honest line of communication.




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