Saturday, 25 May 2013

Lessons In Forgiveness From Your Marriage Counseling Session

By Deborah F. Garcia


They say forgiveness is one of the most difficult things to give, even in married couples. It involves humility, understanding, acceptance, and even pride. A lot of times, it's the pride that hinders people to forgive and forget the hurts from the past. Forgiveness has 2 parts - letting go and moving on. It's not enough to say that you've forgiven your spouse, but then, deep inside you, you are still holding on and dwelling on the misgivings. Forgiveness could only be completed once you've learned to move on and forget the misgivings. In a marriage counseling session, you will learn why it's difficult to forgive.

Lack of understanding

From a marriage counseling session, you will learn that another factor for unwillingness to forgive is the belief that forgiveness signifies that what your spouse did was okay. The aggrieved party must open up about the offense, talk about it and express that what your spouse did was not okay, yet you are willing to forgive and forget about it.

Lack of understanding

From a marriage counseling session, you will learn that another factor for unwillingness to forgive is the belief that forgiveness signifies that what your spouse did was okay. The aggrieved party must open up about the offense, talk about it and express that what your spouse did was not okay, yet you are willing to forgive and forget about it.

Guarantees

There are no guarantees in life. When you begin a relationship, you cannot be guaranteed that it would be successful and lead to an everlasting happiness. Life is not a fairy tale. It is a struggle and in order for a relationship to work, learn how to forgive your spouse. Keep in mind that if you forgive, it is not a guarantee that the behavior that led to a fight will not happen again.

Score-keeping

From a marriage counseling session, you will realize how at times, getting even is the response you offer to your spouse who has hurt you. Instead of focusing on forgiveness, you all the more add fuel to the flame by getting even.

Guarantees

If you think so highly about yourself, then it would be very difficult to give forgiveness. If you believe that it is only your partner who is capable of erring, and not you, then it is you who have some issues to resolve. Understand yourself and accept that all human beings commit mistakes, and you or your spouse are not an exemption from the rule.

Power play

Stop playing "powerful" - a valuable lesson you could get from a marriage counseling session. It's difficult to give forgiveness because the aggrieved spouse thinks that if it is given, then you lose control over the offender. Most of the time, the offender finds ways on how to please the aggrieved spouse to be forgiven. At times, this behavior leads to power play, so forgiveness is held back.

Humans will continue to commit mistakes and forgiveness must be given wholeheartedly for a marriage to survive and in marriage counseling therapy, you will be taught on how to be forgiving to each other.




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