An adult's experiences, values and character define what kind of parent he or she will be. No two sets of parents will raise their children in exactly the same way. Just as you are an individual with your own likes and dislikes, your own unique way of thinking, feeling and behaving, so too, are your parents. Parenting styles differ from one home to the next and are a combination of many different factors.
Although most parents treat their children with love and respect, and provide them with safety, food and shelter, there are some parents, because of their upbringing and choices, who are verbally, emotionally, physically and even sexually abusive to their children. In these homes parents are often negligent. In other words, they do not provide their children with sufficient food or clothing, nor do they give their children attention or love. Homes where these types of abuses and negligence occur are called dysfunctional homes. Physical abuse results in internal or external bruises, fractures, brain damage and permanent injury or death.
Even though physical pain is not inflicted, emotional and verbal abuse are just as damaging. Words such as, "You're stupid," "You can't do anything right," and "I wish you were never born," cause rejection, fear, and resentment. Every year over 18,000 children in the U.S. alone are physically abused and many more are emotionally and sexually abused. Years ago the National Committee for Prevention of Child Abuse made the public aware of this form of abuse by displaying posters that read, "Words hit as hard as a fist."
Sexual abuse that occurs in the home is extremely demoralizing and damaging to children. Sexual abuse includes, but is not limited to inappropriate touching, or having someone ask to see your private areas, or encouraging you to look at theirs. Sexual abuse can be committed by any member of the family. If anyone touches you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable tell them immediately to STOP! Then tell someone who will listen. If there is no one in your family who you can go to, then tell a trusted adult. Under no circumstance should you keep it a secret. No one has the right to touch you, or ask you to touch him or her in a sexual way. Sexual abuse violates the bond of trust and respect that must exist between family members, and it tears families apart. If you know someone who is in an abusive situation encourage him or her to confide in a trusted adult.
In a home where there is neglect, children are frequently left without food, attention or love. Often young children are left to care for themselves, to cook, clean and do their own laundry. In a home such as this, children suffer from malnutrition, which means that they are not getting enough healthy food to support their growing bodies and minds. These homes usually lack structure in that there is no set time for daily routines. Routines such as bedtime, bath time and study time are important in teaching character traits such as dependability and responsibility.
Self-concept is the way you see yourself. It is very important to have a positive concept of who you are, because people with a negative self-concept tend to be sad, depressed, angry and resentful. These emotions can lead to negative character traits such as being hateful, aggressive and revengeful. These negative character traits often result in violent behaviors. In abusive homes the rights of children to live in safety and to develop a positive character are taken away. When someone grows up in a home where there is physical and sexual abuse their self-concept and character development will be affected.
Although most people who are abused do not go to the extreme of death, the development of their character is affected in many other ways. In addition to anger, violence and retaliation, abuse also causes feelings of loneliness, isolation and embarrassment. Because of this, children often keep their abuse a secret, afraid that if they tell, they would be blamed. If you are in a situation where you are being abused, then it is the adult or abuser who should be ashamed and embarrassed, not you. So be courageous and speak up. Keep in mind that it is not your fault. The role of adults is to keep you safe, to guide you and prepare you for adulthood by teaching you what is right from wrong. It is also the role of the adults in your life to love you, support you, and encourage you. No adult, not even a member of your family, has the right to mistreat you or abuse you in any way.
Being grounded for breaking household rules is a form of discipline, not abuse. Some teens have tried to charge their parents with abuse for insisting chores and homework be done. There is a difference between abuse and discipline.
Although most parents treat their children with love and respect, and provide them with safety, food and shelter, there are some parents, because of their upbringing and choices, who are verbally, emotionally, physically and even sexually abusive to their children. In these homes parents are often negligent. In other words, they do not provide their children with sufficient food or clothing, nor do they give their children attention or love. Homes where these types of abuses and negligence occur are called dysfunctional homes. Physical abuse results in internal or external bruises, fractures, brain damage and permanent injury or death.
Even though physical pain is not inflicted, emotional and verbal abuse are just as damaging. Words such as, "You're stupid," "You can't do anything right," and "I wish you were never born," cause rejection, fear, and resentment. Every year over 18,000 children in the U.S. alone are physically abused and many more are emotionally and sexually abused. Years ago the National Committee for Prevention of Child Abuse made the public aware of this form of abuse by displaying posters that read, "Words hit as hard as a fist."
Sexual abuse that occurs in the home is extremely demoralizing and damaging to children. Sexual abuse includes, but is not limited to inappropriate touching, or having someone ask to see your private areas, or encouraging you to look at theirs. Sexual abuse can be committed by any member of the family. If anyone touches you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable tell them immediately to STOP! Then tell someone who will listen. If there is no one in your family who you can go to, then tell a trusted adult. Under no circumstance should you keep it a secret. No one has the right to touch you, or ask you to touch him or her in a sexual way. Sexual abuse violates the bond of trust and respect that must exist between family members, and it tears families apart. If you know someone who is in an abusive situation encourage him or her to confide in a trusted adult.
In a home where there is neglect, children are frequently left without food, attention or love. Often young children are left to care for themselves, to cook, clean and do their own laundry. In a home such as this, children suffer from malnutrition, which means that they are not getting enough healthy food to support their growing bodies and minds. These homes usually lack structure in that there is no set time for daily routines. Routines such as bedtime, bath time and study time are important in teaching character traits such as dependability and responsibility.
Self-concept is the way you see yourself. It is very important to have a positive concept of who you are, because people with a negative self-concept tend to be sad, depressed, angry and resentful. These emotions can lead to negative character traits such as being hateful, aggressive and revengeful. These negative character traits often result in violent behaviors. In abusive homes the rights of children to live in safety and to develop a positive character are taken away. When someone grows up in a home where there is physical and sexual abuse their self-concept and character development will be affected.
Although most people who are abused do not go to the extreme of death, the development of their character is affected in many other ways. In addition to anger, violence and retaliation, abuse also causes feelings of loneliness, isolation and embarrassment. Because of this, children often keep their abuse a secret, afraid that if they tell, they would be blamed. If you are in a situation where you are being abused, then it is the adult or abuser who should be ashamed and embarrassed, not you. So be courageous and speak up. Keep in mind that it is not your fault. The role of adults is to keep you safe, to guide you and prepare you for adulthood by teaching you what is right from wrong. It is also the role of the adults in your life to love you, support you, and encourage you. No adult, not even a member of your family, has the right to mistreat you or abuse you in any way.
Being grounded for breaking household rules is a form of discipline, not abuse. Some teens have tried to charge their parents with abuse for insisting chores and homework be done. There is a difference between abuse and discipline.
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