Monday 5 March 2018

Rabbi Funeral: What To Expect

By Patrick Richardson


Death is a stark reality. When one loses a loved one, friend or colleague, it is hard to believe that they are really gone until the last respects have been paid. The Jewish rites are a bit different from others but the procedure of a rabbi funeral must be followed. The first thing is to dress appropriately. Ladies are encouraged to wear dresses while men should wear a coat and white shirt. This is a sign of respect for the deceased and consideration for the bereaved family.

The grave side session is usually considered private but it is not restricted. If one decides to attend, they have to wear comfortable shoes because there is a lot of standing. A burial ceremony is no place for small talk. If one is asked a question or has to speak to someone, the voice has to be kept low.

Tardiness to a burial is simply in bad taste. It reflects badly on the person and can be construed as disrespectful to all parties involved. One should plan for an early arrival to avoid noisy and distracting late walk in.

Do not under any circumstances attempt to socialize before the ceremony. Do not speak unless spoken to. Low key is the only key to being a Jewish burial. Wait until the end of the ceremony to offer condolences. At times there will not be a chance to do that. In that case, that is why there is a condolence book. So that the family can know they had support.

There usually people who are tasked with the responsibility of ensuring everyone sits where they are supposed to and moves when they are asked to. One should not purposely make the job of such people harder. These directions are meant to have the ceremony run smoothly. It would not auger well to instigate a mishap,

The Jewish faith does not believe in embalming. For this reason, burials are usually planned approximately three days after the death. This can be short notice especially with respect to getting time off work or getting a baby sitter. In this case, the Shiva will more than make up for the absence. This is a seven day period during which well-wishers can show up at the home and offer their condolences.

The Jewish faith is not for flowers in the event of death. It is seen as making a dark reality beautiful. Instead, most families will provide the name of a charity through which people can send their donations in honor of the deceased. Most charities will send a card to the family letting them know that a donation was made in their name. This token is called tzedakah.

The ceremony must be treated with utmost respect. Whether one is of the same faith or not, they must be respectful. One must not point out seemingly weird rituals or traditions. Just be there to mourn and comfort the family.




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