Nobody wants to admit that their marriage has reached an end or they need to spend some time apart from their significant other. Everyone knows what divorce means. It's the complete dissolution of a marriage. Few people know the difference between legal separation and divorce. One would think that they're the same thing because when a divorce is finalized, both parties are separated legally. The reality of the situation is that there are some distinct differences between the two options. Two people who get legally separated want to work it out. They need to have some time apart. Periods of legal separation can be lengthy before they lead to divorce. People don't have to get legally separated. That's just a decision they decide to make.
Before you even begin, do your best to be nice. The nicer you are, the better of a deal you will both end up with. You don't want to have to take this process in front of a judge - which is costly, frustrating, and often less fair. Especially if you have sentimental attachments to certain things, discussing things directly with your ex can lead to compromises and satisfaction on both sides.
First, get together and make a list of all your assets. Many couples find it useful to order them in terms of monetary value. As you do, you'll start building a sense of what you'll be dealing with and what pieces you want. From there, you will be ready to start splitting up your stuff. There are several different ways you can go about splitting up your assets. Here are a few of them:
It's a common misconception that in order to get a portion of a military pension, you need to have been married for at least 10 years. This isn't true. A court is free to divide up a military pension based on whatever it thinks is fair. The "10-10 test" has to do with the Defense Finance and Accounting Service (DFAS), which is responsible for making direct retirement payments to former service members. The DFAS will provide direct payments to an ex-spouse if the couple had been married for 10 years of overlapping service.
If things are a little more tense, you can each take turns choosing one item from the list. This is where listing items by monetary value comes into play. This system should result in a fairly equal split, and perhaps with a few trades, you'll both be satisfied.
Making an Effort to Reconcile
Whether you're considering divorce or separation, you should make an effort to overcome your problems as a couple before you take either option. Some couples have done so much damage to their relationship that they have reached the point of no return. This is why couples have to work on their relationship throughout its lifespan. We all like to think that there's nothing going wrong because we have a fear of confrontation. We know that if we bring up the sore subjects, it will lead to conflicts that will create more significant problems later on. If we solved these issues when they popped up, we would save ourselves from all sorts of grief later on.
Before you even begin, do your best to be nice. The nicer you are, the better of a deal you will both end up with. You don't want to have to take this process in front of a judge - which is costly, frustrating, and often less fair. Especially if you have sentimental attachments to certain things, discussing things directly with your ex can lead to compromises and satisfaction on both sides.
First, get together and make a list of all your assets. Many couples find it useful to order them in terms of monetary value. As you do, you'll start building a sense of what you'll be dealing with and what pieces you want. From there, you will be ready to start splitting up your stuff. There are several different ways you can go about splitting up your assets. Here are a few of them:
It's a common misconception that in order to get a portion of a military pension, you need to have been married for at least 10 years. This isn't true. A court is free to divide up a military pension based on whatever it thinks is fair. The "10-10 test" has to do with the Defense Finance and Accounting Service (DFAS), which is responsible for making direct retirement payments to former service members. The DFAS will provide direct payments to an ex-spouse if the couple had been married for 10 years of overlapping service.
If things are a little more tense, you can each take turns choosing one item from the list. This is where listing items by monetary value comes into play. This system should result in a fairly equal split, and perhaps with a few trades, you'll both be satisfied.
Making an Effort to Reconcile
Whether you're considering divorce or separation, you should make an effort to overcome your problems as a couple before you take either option. Some couples have done so much damage to their relationship that they have reached the point of no return. This is why couples have to work on their relationship throughout its lifespan. We all like to think that there's nothing going wrong because we have a fear of confrontation. We know that if we bring up the sore subjects, it will lead to conflicts that will create more significant problems later on. If we solved these issues when they popped up, we would save ourselves from all sorts of grief later on.
About the Author:
Lutz Law Offices has been knowledgeably representing clients since 1997. They practice exclusively in issues of Custody attorney law and are able to provide you with comprehensive legal representation that effectively and efficiently meets your needs. Contact a family lawyer in Tacoma you can trust.
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