Sunday 13 April 2014

Heeding The Signs That You Might Have A Bad Marriage

By Herbert Zabala


When you're in a bad marriage, it can be as painful as getting a root canal or open heart surgery. Marriages that are good are difficult enough already to cultivate because all married couples go through good days and bad days, ups and downs in their lives together.

There can be good days and bad days, which will make you feel as though you are on a sort of emotional roller coaster that has come off of the tracks.

It goes without saying that a lot of married couples will try to work through the tough times for a number of reasons. However, some people who are involved in a marriage that is simply not good for them will often have a hard time even realizing it.

Do not ignore what is happening with your marriage. It is incredibly scary to think about being alone or to come to the conclusion that your marriage is going to be a statistic. You may be worried about your children or how the rest of your family will react to your failing marriage.

If you have children as a result of the marriage, this type of a situation is never healthy for them either and it warrants some thought on whether or not the marriage is worth keeping together.

There are a few characteristics of bad marriages. These include a lack of intimacy and affection and strained communication. In very serious cases, there could also be verbal or physical abuse. If you find that you never want to go home after work, there is probably an issue with your marriage. Communication is key. If you don't speak to one another about what is transpiring, there is no way you are going to fix the situation.

Keep in mind that it is not just your happiness that is at stake. Your health may be in jeopardy as well. Research indicates that people in bad marriages have higher stress levels and worse health. That often leads to things like heart problems, depression or even eating disorders. In addition, it may compromise your immune system.

The unfortunate news is that only about one percent of married couples actually seek counseling. Maybe you know what the problem is but you fear admitting it. A counselor can help you bring out the truth and offer advice that can help.

A lot of people have a fantasy view that if there is love, it will solve all problems. Yes, keeping a positive attitude is good, but someone still need to point out the reality and where the marriage is weak. Then, you are able to separate what is real and what is not real. Love can be an infatuation that does not last.

It may be hard to talk about your problems, but the only alternative is to suffer in silence. You can fix your marriage, but you have to be willing to work at it and to communicate openly and honestly with your partner.

You don't have to be embarrassed about your situation and not talk about it. When there is love, respect, and a commitment to seek solutions, a bad marriage can be saved. You have to first be honest with yourself and make a decision if the marriage is worth saving. This decision is up to you to make.




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