Saturday 23 November 2013

Is Your Romantic Life a Shambles?

By Brett Vaughan


It's a fact that most men are afraid of approaching a woman for fear of being rejected, especially if this has happened to them in the past. A guy only needs to be rejected once to develop this fear. Some are a little more hardy (or foolhardy) and try again using the same method of approach again, and are rejected again. This can leave a mark on a guy. It can reduce a guys feeling of self worth to ashes in an instant. The problem is usually a communications issue, in other words, the dude just doesn't know how to talk to chicks.

The way a guy look physically really has very little to do with how successful he is with a woman. It's a lot more than that. So hiding behind sports magazines or playing "blind man" in front of the boob-tube watching football or whatever is not going to win you any dates, or experience with women. If you don't get out, you will never find a girlfriend. Period!

Have you ever wondered why women look at you as if you are a leper when you come on too strong? It's because you are "going in for the kill" before you have even gotten past the stage that comes BEFORE first base. You haven't even gotten her number yet and you are trying to seduce her. No way, bro. It'll never work. Look, just face it and accept that looks are secondary. In fact, for some women looks mean nothing. Yup. Nothing. If a guy is genuinely sweet and charming, considerate and gentlemanly, dude, you win. You could look like Quasimodo for she cares, as long as she feels like a queen when she's with you. Women want to be swept off their feet, not dragged by the hair into seduction.

Right then. So this is where you put on your big boy pants and try attracting the kind of women you always wanted to talk to, but were always afraid to. Relax your face, but don't look catatonic either. Keep a slight smile on your lips, very slight so you look friendly and approachable, and not like a shark on the hunt with all your teeth hanging out. Keep your lips closed. Straighten your spine but don't look like a stiff old butler and turn your body ever so slightly in the direction of the woman you are interested in from across the room. Don't turn your body dead on toward her, that's too forward and too obvious. SHE must notice YOU. Keep your head up and eyes at the same level as the people around you so you look approachable and easygoing. This is key.

Make eye contact with more than one woman. Keep moving around and interacting with everyone. Every now and again try to make eye contact with the woman you are interested in. If she makes eye contact with you more than once, she will probably be open to exchanging a few words with you.

So now you approach her. Awesome. So now what do you do? Firstly, don't panic and blow the whole thing. Move to her side and turn very slightly towards her. Your bodies should make a "V" shape. You don't want to come across as eager. Puppies are eager, you are cool. She will more than likely be with some friends and is chatting with them, so now and again, if you have something relevant to say or add to the conversation, do so. Just don't stand there like a dummy smiling like a fool looking awkward. She will talk back. Now if the place is crowded and loud, don't keep leaning into her and say "what?" or I can't hear you". Simply turn your ear towards her frowning slightly, and she will catch on.

If she does catch on that you can't quite hear what she is saying, she will lean towards you to make herself heard. This is a great sign because she is using her body language to tell you she is interested, maybe even attracted to you. Remember by playing it cool, she will be picking up on your alpha manliness, which she is hardwired to find attractive.

Once in a while, not too often or it will seem a bit weird, touch her shoulder or arm while you are talking. Don't touch her hand, it's too personal and too soon for that. Try not to be obvious and make it a natural thing, like when you are making a point of something, the touch her shoulder lightly. It makes her aware of you and her close proximity to you while you are talking. If this is not taken up the wrong way (which it won't if she is interested), it will heighten her senses a little bit every time you touch her. This is a good thing as it begins to reach her on an emotional level. Women are emotional beings after all.

Now is the fun part. Start thinking about things that arouse you. Don't go completely "porn king" now, you don't want any embarrassing situations to...arise. Just enough so that she will be able to feel the subtle change in you, hear it in your voice and be affected by the timber of your voice. She will more than likely be doing the same thing. She will probably be dying for you to kiss her...at the very least, but that is for later, much later, when you have worked your "emotional magic" on her for a couple more hours.

Things will probably take off hot and heavy from this point on so keep a cool head and all should be just as you planned it.




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