Wednesday 9 October 2013

Tips For Overcoming Shyness And Social Anxiety

By Diane C. Kuhn


Shyness is nothing to be ashamed of and you can overcome it when you learn the right way to go about it. The problem is that you have not been exposed to accurate, proven ways to deal with shyness.Shyness can be defined as having difficulty creating a rapport with other people. For many people, shyness can mean having a hard time thinking of things to say in a social setting.For others it can include physical symptoms of apprehension. For most people, it involves a combination of the two. Social behaviors that come easily to the average person such as smiling, making conversation, maintaining eye contact, and a relaxed posture are extremely difficult for the shy person to achieve.

But most shy people find that idea daunting and prefer to start shaking off their shyness in smaller situations.Wherever you decide to start, the important thing is to actually start!Break the ice.With a helpful friend if need be. If everyone seems to be in groups or cliques, pick one with an odd number. Then there's a chance you can actually pair off with someone and overcome your shyness that way.Get a pet.A dog is especially good for this.You have to go out and walk your dog on a regular basis and most dog owners are more than happy to stop and chat on their daily walk.If you're really timid, just start with a nod to acknowledge the other person. But ideally get at least as far as saying "hello" or "good morning" or some other friendly but non-committal phrase. Maybe even the British fall-back conversation topic of the weather.

5 Ways To Overcome Shyness,Some of the components of shyness are lack of self-confidence and anxiety around others, difficulty carrying on a conversation, and a lack of knowledge about the expected behavior in social situations.Shy people can be very intimidated by people in general. Learning how to overcome shyness may seem like an insurmountable task, but help is available to you through several sources.

Smile more often.A nervous smile is better than no smile at all. But smiling is actually a great ice breaker and you may well find that's all you need to do to get other people to walk up to you and start talking. Then you have two options: run and hide or forget your shyness and carry on the conversation.The second choice is far and away the better one and will help you to overcome your shyness and social anxiety quicker than you ever dreamed possible.Research has shown that shyness is caused by three factors these are which when combined produces shyness. First is an excessive evaluation of self, secondly you view your self negatively and finally you are preoccupied with your self. When these three factors are combined, shyness occurs. This happens mainly during social events and around strange people.

Reprogram your mental definition of shyness. This goes along the same lines as using daily affirmations or by reading self help books. By changing your perception of shyness instead of having a negative attachment to the word, you will then help re-create your outlook on it.Learn to take risks. How many times did you just want to go up to someone and tell them how beautiful they were, or how impressed they were. As a daily exercise do this: Each day of the week go up to a total stranger and say something nice. It could be something as innocent as complimenting a pretty girl on her hair or a guy with his shirt. Do not worry about the outcome, do not worry about what they say, just do it!

Combat your fears of rejections by realizing that everyone gets rejected at one point or another, everyone! Learn not to take rejection personally. Use it as a tool.Be honest and up front!... tell people that you are shy up front, be honest with them. You will not believe just how nervous and shy the other person is as well.Last but certainly not least. pray to God. Share your shyness with God and ask as him for the strength and courage to overcome it.

Love yourself,Self appreciation is one of the best ways of overcoming shyness. Learn to love the unique expression that is you. Take some time and pen a love letter to yourself. Take some time to go out and do the things that you really enjoy. Be thankful for your health; spend some time to get to know yourself.Be none conforming,Never try to be someone else. This is extremely exhausting and no fun at all. Know that it is alright to be different. The truth is, people who are popular experience the same emotions, insecurities, self consciousness and feelings of awkwardness.Place your focus on other individuals,Instead of focusing on what makes you awkward, listen to what other have to say during social gatherings. Spend the time and learn about others. Get to know and understand what they have to say though conversation.Reduce your anxiety through controlled breathing,Fear and anxiety have a way of overwhelming you. One way to controlling these negative emotions are though becoming more assertive. You can control your anxiety by channelling it into smaller pieces and assimilating it slowly. This is done through controlled breathing. Slowly inhale and exhale as you clear the triggering thoughts.

According to professionals in social psychology, being shy means that an individual experiences apprehension or feelings of discomfort and/or awkwardness when in the same area as others, or when approached by other people. These feelings are often enhanced when in social situations, unfamiliar locations or around people who are unfamiliar. While it is common for everyone to experience shyness at least once in their life to a small degree, many individuals experience it to such a high degree that it results in social anxiety and/or phobias related to social situations, events and experiences. In its most severe forms, individuals that experience shyness may find that it interferes with their personal and professional relationships and hinders them to one degree or another. While many refer to therapy and even anti-anxiety medications to overcome shyness, simply learning to communicate better has also been found to be an effective strategy in overcoming shyness. Not only is this strategy less expensive than therapy and medication, it is also much safer.

Never run away from what it is that is making you uncomfortable,When you leave a setting or situation that is making you shy you are basically reinforcing that negative aspect of yourself and making it stronger. Turn these fearful situations into a period where you become the observer and dig into your psyche to find out what it is that is making you react in this way.

Be accepting of rejection.Rejection is a natural part of life. You must learn how to cope with this rejection and learn how to never take it personally. Every one will be rejected at some point in time. It's just a part of the learning process of life. The key is to handle the rejection by never taking it personally, look for the lesson in the situation and move on.Do away with perfectionism,Most people who compare themselves to others tend to compare themselves with the most popular person in a social setting or with the celebrities on TV. This in turn causes them to place excessive expectations of themselves thus causing them to ask the question why can't I be like the other person. Do away with this perfectionism.Finally practice your social skills,Practise makes perfect, like any other skill you may have, you should practice your social skills. Spend time putting yourself out there meeting and greeting others. If you're not sure what to say, ask a fried to help you before hand for such social events.




About the Author:



No comments:

Post a Comment