Hey, I've just got a quick note for you today on a subject that a lot of guys are curious about: How to talk to women. There's a lot of cool information I teach you, from routines to openers, conversation bridges, all kinds of great stuff to inject into your interactions with women. But in almost every single one-on-one coaching (and in hundreds of emails I get every day), one concern stands out more than any other.
It's usually this: "How do I do this stuff when I'm in-person with a woman? Face to face? I need to know how to talk to women." This is what I call the "Real-Time" problem. You can learn a ton of great information off-line, but when you're in Real-Time, it's tough to be "on" and creative, isn't it? I don't know if you've ever had this problem, but when I was first learning these skills, I'd do a massive amount of preparation, memorizing a bunch of phrases and stuff. This was what I needed to get up the nerve for how to talk to women.
A lot of men will resort to compliments when they don't know what to say or they are trying too hard to telegraph their attraction to a woman and the problem with that is, you really aren't saying much at all when you do that. You have to be able to speak about things other than telling her that she is attractive because otherwise, you are not going to stand out and make that lasting impression on her that you need to. Trust me, if you think she looks good, so do LOTS of other guys. So, she has heard all of those compliments before.
Finally she says, "Uh, I gotta get back to my friends..." And then, as she's walking away, and you're kicking yourself... You suddenly come up with the PERFECT thing you should have said. Too late.Here's a technique I used to use to make sure I was really prepared to USE all the cool stuff I had memorized when learning how to talk to women. I'm not advising you to learn and rehearse someone else's words! You should ONLY be coming up with things of your own that are TRUE to talk with women about. No fake stories or lying. You don't need to make stuff up or use someone else's words to be interesting to women.
"It's not so much what he talks about," Angelica continued. She was hot and she knew it, but she was really down to earth, not as rare a find in Los Angeles if you know where and how to look, but I digress. "It's important to me that he's comfortable in his own skin and that he has his own mind. I don't want a guy agreeing with me just for the sake of agreeing with me.
If he knows how to be natural, unpretentious, and not trying to get down my pants, then I'll probably hear him out." "C'mon," I said, "Most men who talk to you just want to get into your pants. But then there are guys like me who realize that a pretty face is really common around here. I like to see what women are made of."
"I was out scouting locations for some photos today. The light here is really fantastic for bringing out skin tones and eye color. Isn't it great?" Okay, so now we've got a couple ways to bring up our interests in conversation, without bragging AND at the same time communicating to a woman that you've got a hobby in your life that brings out your passion.Maybe you've got some great questions to ask, and things to say that you think of when you're at home, but now you need to have it ready all the time, like a loaded gun. You want to be able to come up with this when you're out and about, but you find yourself constantly forgetting it when the pressure is on.How to talk to women - STEP 2: ENGAGE YOUR MODALITIES Modalities are simply your senses. Sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch. The more of your senses you use, the quicker things are embedded in your mind. So you want to spend some time before you go out writing these words down, whether it's the questions you want to ask, or just a list of topics you want to bring up in conversation.
They seek validation, some seek to have their egos strokes, and some of them actually want to genuinely someone that they feel they can connect with. It's far easier than you think, but first you have to unlearn what you have learned (I think I heard that in some movie somewhere).
How to speak with women I would cram all my notes on a piece of paper with facts, writing stuff everywhere, and in every direction. On the margins, sideways, whatever. Then, when it came time to study for a test on dates and names and memorized facts, I would just sit down with the page and cover up sections with my hand and try to recall the information.Well, we all did this in some way or another with our notes. What you don't realize is that you weren't learning the information as much as you were learning WHERE that information was on the paper. You got locked into recalling the information based on WHERE it was, not WHAT it was. So when you get a fact or information that you can't see on a piece of paper, you would forget it fast. (Which it's so easy to forget names. We're not paying attention to it enough the first time, and there's nothing to anchor it in our heads.)
That's right, it wasn't the information you were learning as much as giving your brain a LOCATION for that information. It's called "spatial relationship," and it's how your mind stores information. It's more important to give a RELATIONSHIP to the information to make it stick. Like right now, if you close your eyes, chances are you can recall where almost everything is in your bedroom, or another room in your apartment that you are very familiar with.So here's how you use this "Situational Rehearsal" technique. It's based on the way your brain really learns. And you'll get at least 10 times better retention and recall of information if you use it... In my previous example, you came up with a great way to talk about photography, your passion. And you came up with a great way to actually SAY it to a woman. You may even have some of my "Power Questions" that you want to memorize to use.
Now you have to practice recalling these things in MANY different locations, and in many different situations. You would want to do stuff like:But if you REALLY want to improve by leaps and bounds in your inner and outer game of conversation, here's a KILLER bonus technique:Put a bluetooth headset on (or any cell phone earpiece so it looks like you're talking on your phone). Then, go out and recite what it is you're memorizing when you're out in public on a city street or in a store. Don't worry, other people will just assume you're talking to someone on your cell phone. But this method will help you get over your fear of looking foolish in front of other people. AND it gives you a killer rehearsal for saying it in front of a woman. You get your shyness out of the way, and you build confidence in the process.
When a conversation is too boring or too mundane, there is little chance that you are really going to be able to spark some attraction, which is necessary if you are going to be able to get a date with her. Being able to take the conversation in a direction so that it becomes flirtatious is something that you need to be able to do. If you can't flirt, then you have to learn how to because flirting is a necessary skill that you need to have when you make conversation with a woman.
It's usually this: "How do I do this stuff when I'm in-person with a woman? Face to face? I need to know how to talk to women." This is what I call the "Real-Time" problem. You can learn a ton of great information off-line, but when you're in Real-Time, it's tough to be "on" and creative, isn't it? I don't know if you've ever had this problem, but when I was first learning these skills, I'd do a massive amount of preparation, memorizing a bunch of phrases and stuff. This was what I needed to get up the nerve for how to talk to women.
A lot of men will resort to compliments when they don't know what to say or they are trying too hard to telegraph their attraction to a woman and the problem with that is, you really aren't saying much at all when you do that. You have to be able to speak about things other than telling her that she is attractive because otherwise, you are not going to stand out and make that lasting impression on her that you need to. Trust me, if you think she looks good, so do LOTS of other guys. So, she has heard all of those compliments before.
Finally she says, "Uh, I gotta get back to my friends..." And then, as she's walking away, and you're kicking yourself... You suddenly come up with the PERFECT thing you should have said. Too late.Here's a technique I used to use to make sure I was really prepared to USE all the cool stuff I had memorized when learning how to talk to women. I'm not advising you to learn and rehearse someone else's words! You should ONLY be coming up with things of your own that are TRUE to talk with women about. No fake stories or lying. You don't need to make stuff up or use someone else's words to be interesting to women.
"It's not so much what he talks about," Angelica continued. She was hot and she knew it, but she was really down to earth, not as rare a find in Los Angeles if you know where and how to look, but I digress. "It's important to me that he's comfortable in his own skin and that he has his own mind. I don't want a guy agreeing with me just for the sake of agreeing with me.
If he knows how to be natural, unpretentious, and not trying to get down my pants, then I'll probably hear him out." "C'mon," I said, "Most men who talk to you just want to get into your pants. But then there are guys like me who realize that a pretty face is really common around here. I like to see what women are made of."
"I was out scouting locations for some photos today. The light here is really fantastic for bringing out skin tones and eye color. Isn't it great?" Okay, so now we've got a couple ways to bring up our interests in conversation, without bragging AND at the same time communicating to a woman that you've got a hobby in your life that brings out your passion.Maybe you've got some great questions to ask, and things to say that you think of when you're at home, but now you need to have it ready all the time, like a loaded gun. You want to be able to come up with this when you're out and about, but you find yourself constantly forgetting it when the pressure is on.How to talk to women - STEP 2: ENGAGE YOUR MODALITIES Modalities are simply your senses. Sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch. The more of your senses you use, the quicker things are embedded in your mind. So you want to spend some time before you go out writing these words down, whether it's the questions you want to ask, or just a list of topics you want to bring up in conversation.
They seek validation, some seek to have their egos strokes, and some of them actually want to genuinely someone that they feel they can connect with. It's far easier than you think, but first you have to unlearn what you have learned (I think I heard that in some movie somewhere).
How to speak with women I would cram all my notes on a piece of paper with facts, writing stuff everywhere, and in every direction. On the margins, sideways, whatever. Then, when it came time to study for a test on dates and names and memorized facts, I would just sit down with the page and cover up sections with my hand and try to recall the information.Well, we all did this in some way or another with our notes. What you don't realize is that you weren't learning the information as much as you were learning WHERE that information was on the paper. You got locked into recalling the information based on WHERE it was, not WHAT it was. So when you get a fact or information that you can't see on a piece of paper, you would forget it fast. (Which it's so easy to forget names. We're not paying attention to it enough the first time, and there's nothing to anchor it in our heads.)
That's right, it wasn't the information you were learning as much as giving your brain a LOCATION for that information. It's called "spatial relationship," and it's how your mind stores information. It's more important to give a RELATIONSHIP to the information to make it stick. Like right now, if you close your eyes, chances are you can recall where almost everything is in your bedroom, or another room in your apartment that you are very familiar with.So here's how you use this "Situational Rehearsal" technique. It's based on the way your brain really learns. And you'll get at least 10 times better retention and recall of information if you use it... In my previous example, you came up with a great way to talk about photography, your passion. And you came up with a great way to actually SAY it to a woman. You may even have some of my "Power Questions" that you want to memorize to use.
Now you have to practice recalling these things in MANY different locations, and in many different situations. You would want to do stuff like:But if you REALLY want to improve by leaps and bounds in your inner and outer game of conversation, here's a KILLER bonus technique:Put a bluetooth headset on (or any cell phone earpiece so it looks like you're talking on your phone). Then, go out and recite what it is you're memorizing when you're out in public on a city street or in a store. Don't worry, other people will just assume you're talking to someone on your cell phone. But this method will help you get over your fear of looking foolish in front of other people. AND it gives you a killer rehearsal for saying it in front of a woman. You get your shyness out of the way, and you build confidence in the process.
When a conversation is too boring or too mundane, there is little chance that you are really going to be able to spark some attraction, which is necessary if you are going to be able to get a date with her. Being able to take the conversation in a direction so that it becomes flirtatious is something that you need to be able to do. If you can't flirt, then you have to learn how to because flirting is a necessary skill that you need to have when you make conversation with a woman.
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