Marriage is a journey of ups and downs and before you know it, you have the middle of a situation wherein you and your partner argue about a particular matter. It may be because of something that embarrassed you in front of your friends or colleagues, or something that you forgot to do. Marriage counseling teaches you how to resolve these issues systematically and effectively. There are things that you have to know if you want your partner to understand you, and make them listen to you.
What's Your Purpose?
You need to have a clear purpose in communicating to your partner when resolving a conflict. Are you going to defend yourself and put the blame on the other person, or try to connect to your spouse? Remember that listening to your spouse is really important in resolving conflicts. Rather than keeping you and your partner apart, listening will draw both of you closer to each other.
Instead of trying to be "right" in the situation, have a clear view on what's exactly happening. People often try go crazy when conflicts come up in the relationship. When you understand the situation, you'll have a clear purpose on what you want to accomplish when you resolve conflicts.
In marriage counseling, there are exercises that the both of you can do in order to improve listening and understanding.
What's Going On?
So, what exactly happened that made a conflict in your marriage? Communication is the best way to answer this question. Since you and your partner have different perceptions about a particular situation, communication will result to understanding. Don't resort to lines such as "Don't yell at me!", "Why didn't you do what I asked you to do?", or "That's it! I'm never going to invite you for a company function!" These things can do worse things instead of resolving conflicts.
Emotionally charged situations are the most challenging to resolve. This is why marriage counseling programs give you exercises giving more stress on the "I" part of the communications rather than "You". Besides taking responsibility for the mistake you did, it also enables you to communicate in a non-threatening way.
Addressing Your Feelings
"I feel embarrassed when you criticized me in front of my boss." This is one good example of communicating with you partner, putting more stress on the "I" and letting the other know how the situation made you feel. You can add the "because phrase" to address to your partner the reason why you felt that way. Lastly, you can tell your partner what kind of reaction or behavior you want in the situation that created the conflict.
You will know more lines that you can use to address your feelings in resolving problems in marriage counseling. It's very important that you watch your tone when you communicate especially when you and your partner are having a conflict.
This habit of handling conflicts take time to build. Exercises in marriage counseling programs help you improve this skill with your spouse. Always remember to follow the golden rules in communication - do not nag, never blame one another, and have loving discussions.
What's Your Purpose?
You need to have a clear purpose in communicating to your partner when resolving a conflict. Are you going to defend yourself and put the blame on the other person, or try to connect to your spouse? Remember that listening to your spouse is really important in resolving conflicts. Rather than keeping you and your partner apart, listening will draw both of you closer to each other.
Instead of trying to be "right" in the situation, have a clear view on what's exactly happening. People often try go crazy when conflicts come up in the relationship. When you understand the situation, you'll have a clear purpose on what you want to accomplish when you resolve conflicts.
In marriage counseling, there are exercises that the both of you can do in order to improve listening and understanding.
What's Going On?
So, what exactly happened that made a conflict in your marriage? Communication is the best way to answer this question. Since you and your partner have different perceptions about a particular situation, communication will result to understanding. Don't resort to lines such as "Don't yell at me!", "Why didn't you do what I asked you to do?", or "That's it! I'm never going to invite you for a company function!" These things can do worse things instead of resolving conflicts.
Emotionally charged situations are the most challenging to resolve. This is why marriage counseling programs give you exercises giving more stress on the "I" part of the communications rather than "You". Besides taking responsibility for the mistake you did, it also enables you to communicate in a non-threatening way.
Addressing Your Feelings
"I feel embarrassed when you criticized me in front of my boss." This is one good example of communicating with you partner, putting more stress on the "I" and letting the other know how the situation made you feel. You can add the "because phrase" to address to your partner the reason why you felt that way. Lastly, you can tell your partner what kind of reaction or behavior you want in the situation that created the conflict.
You will know more lines that you can use to address your feelings in resolving problems in marriage counseling. It's very important that you watch your tone when you communicate especially when you and your partner are having a conflict.
This habit of handling conflicts take time to build. Exercises in marriage counseling programs help you improve this skill with your spouse. Always remember to follow the golden rules in communication - do not nag, never blame one another, and have loving discussions.
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