Know that feeling when you see a gorgeous girl that you really want to approach, but you don't know what I say?
All you wanted to do was just go up to her and say hi, and for everything to be alright. For her to respond well and for you to find out about her.
What you actually did instead though, was...nothing.
Instead of just speaking your mind, you went into your own head and tried to imagine what you should say to her. Trying to imagine what the 'right' words would be.
If I say this, how might she respond?
How will she respond? What do I then say?
And on and on.
Unfortunately by now, if you do go and speak to her, there's a good chance it will come off as weird or creepy. Why is this?
Because rather than being natural, you are stuck in your head. You are trying to force a reaction out of her.
When this happens, the woman often gets a feeling that something is off. They can't quite tell why, but it's just a feeling of 'there's something not quite right here'.
You may have seen the guy who seems to be acting like he is super confident on the outside, but you just feel like something isn't right. His body language betrays his lack of confidence.
When you're around this, you just feel a bit weirded out. And girls are even more in tune to sense this stuff than us guys are!
Best to be totally open about where you're at.
So if you don't feel 100% confident - it's ok to admit that. As long as you're not doing it in a whiny, self pitying way - you take ownership of the fact you don't feel confident right now - it's ok. Girls actually like a bit of vulnerability. Vulnerability and weakness are not the same thing.
So don't be afraid to show her what you consider to be the sides of yourself that you think she won't want to see. You'll be surprised - women are sick of guys pretending to be all cool and perfect all the time.
This shows real strength. It shows a man who is not hiding anything or trying to be something he is not.
I promise you that women are hardly ever approached in this way. It's always loud and overconfident (comes across as fake) or quiet and underconfident (comes across as shy, boring and weak).
So why not give it a go?
All you wanted to do was just go up to her and say hi, and for everything to be alright. For her to respond well and for you to find out about her.
What you actually did instead though, was...nothing.
Instead of just speaking your mind, you went into your own head and tried to imagine what you should say to her. Trying to imagine what the 'right' words would be.
If I say this, how might she respond?
How will she respond? What do I then say?
And on and on.
Unfortunately by now, if you do go and speak to her, there's a good chance it will come off as weird or creepy. Why is this?
Because rather than being natural, you are stuck in your head. You are trying to force a reaction out of her.
When this happens, the woman often gets a feeling that something is off. They can't quite tell why, but it's just a feeling of 'there's something not quite right here'.
You may have seen the guy who seems to be acting like he is super confident on the outside, but you just feel like something isn't right. His body language betrays his lack of confidence.
When you're around this, you just feel a bit weirded out. And girls are even more in tune to sense this stuff than us guys are!
Best to be totally open about where you're at.
So if you don't feel 100% confident - it's ok to admit that. As long as you're not doing it in a whiny, self pitying way - you take ownership of the fact you don't feel confident right now - it's ok. Girls actually like a bit of vulnerability. Vulnerability and weakness are not the same thing.
So don't be afraid to show her what you consider to be the sides of yourself that you think she won't want to see. You'll be surprised - women are sick of guys pretending to be all cool and perfect all the time.
This shows real strength. It shows a man who is not hiding anything or trying to be something he is not.
I promise you that women are hardly ever approached in this way. It's always loud and overconfident (comes across as fake) or quiet and underconfident (comes across as shy, boring and weak).
So why not give it a go?
About the Author:
Author Chadd Pfannenstein is a battle hardened man who has spent the previous decade methodically trying out every attraction system that there is. He is now here to show you how to get laid simply by learning how to approach women in bars and clubs.
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