For a relationship to remain healthy and last, it is important that there be good communication skills for couples that are used in order to strengthen it and allow it to blossom. Being able to communicate well takes more than just talk and listening. It also means each person needs to have a good attitude towards everything otherwise it can lead to hurt emotions and struggles between one another which can even lead to the end of the relationship.
Complaints are typical in any relationship but most often these complaints are not presented with empathy. Instead they are given in a way that makes the other person go on the defense and then this can cause an immediate break down of communication. The only way to give a complaint with empathy is that the one who is making the complaint must do it in a way that is not judgmental and with no intention of hurting anyone. Then the person listening should then react in a less reactive or defensive manner.
Before considering addressing your complaint to your spouse or partner it is probably a good idea to approach them and ask them if the present time would be good to discuss a concern you have. If it turns out that it is not, then ask them if there would be a better time that they could devote to the discussion. The last thing that you want is for your partner to be distracted because of something else they feel they need to be doing.
Once you do have their attention you need to make sure you do not bring an entire laundry list of complaints with you. Stick with one concern and one concern only. Bringing up a huge list of issues is not going to get you anywhere.
Keep focused on the actual feelings that you have directly related to your complaint. Give your partner the chance to actually visualize how something they do actually affects you emotionally. A simple example of this would be a concern about them always being late and never letting you know. The wrong way to approach it would be to say something like this. When you are late and never call me to let me know I think it is inconsiderate of you because it makes me feel like you do not care. A better way is When you are late without calling me causes me to worry about you.
You also want to make sure that your goal is to be heard and not to demand a solution right then. Doing this is only going to make them become immediately defensive and this is only going to shut down the discussion. Give them a chance to think about what you said so they do not feel pressured.
You also need to listen when it comes to communication. Listening and not being defensive yourself is going to be key to great communication. If you are the one receiving the complaint listen and understand communicating is not about who is right or wrong but about understanding each others concerns.
Your relationship is only going to get stronger if you employ good communication skills for couples. You will then learn to be more willing to let each other voice their opinions and feelings without feeling the need to interrupt. No one likes to be stopped in the middle of a sentence, it creates a feeling of disrespect for one another.
Complaints are typical in any relationship but most often these complaints are not presented with empathy. Instead they are given in a way that makes the other person go on the defense and then this can cause an immediate break down of communication. The only way to give a complaint with empathy is that the one who is making the complaint must do it in a way that is not judgmental and with no intention of hurting anyone. Then the person listening should then react in a less reactive or defensive manner.
Before considering addressing your complaint to your spouse or partner it is probably a good idea to approach them and ask them if the present time would be good to discuss a concern you have. If it turns out that it is not, then ask them if there would be a better time that they could devote to the discussion. The last thing that you want is for your partner to be distracted because of something else they feel they need to be doing.
Once you do have their attention you need to make sure you do not bring an entire laundry list of complaints with you. Stick with one concern and one concern only. Bringing up a huge list of issues is not going to get you anywhere.
Keep focused on the actual feelings that you have directly related to your complaint. Give your partner the chance to actually visualize how something they do actually affects you emotionally. A simple example of this would be a concern about them always being late and never letting you know. The wrong way to approach it would be to say something like this. When you are late and never call me to let me know I think it is inconsiderate of you because it makes me feel like you do not care. A better way is When you are late without calling me causes me to worry about you.
You also want to make sure that your goal is to be heard and not to demand a solution right then. Doing this is only going to make them become immediately defensive and this is only going to shut down the discussion. Give them a chance to think about what you said so they do not feel pressured.
You also need to listen when it comes to communication. Listening and not being defensive yourself is going to be key to great communication. If you are the one receiving the complaint listen and understand communicating is not about who is right or wrong but about understanding each others concerns.
Your relationship is only going to get stronger if you employ good communication skills for couples. You will then learn to be more willing to let each other voice their opinions and feelings without feeling the need to interrupt. No one likes to be stopped in the middle of a sentence, it creates a feeling of disrespect for one another.
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