In most families today, there are many conflicts. The average family consists of anywhere between two to five people, and although they all share many character and physical traits, conflicts exist due to each person's individual qualities. Siblings argue, and parents often disagree openly on many subjects. There are many dysfunctional families where there is child abuse, alcoholism and substance abuse, but there are equally as many families that are loving and all members are respectful to each other. The difference between a healthy family that has been trained or have trained themselves in moral character and a dysfunctional one is that in a healthy family all family members are given the love, respect and support that is needed to develop moral character traits.
Children from families educated in positive morals know that family members can be trusted not to abuse or molest them in any way. In families educated in positive moral character, appropriate affection is shown to all members. In other words, it is appropriate for members of a family to display true love and concern, congratulations, appreciation and sometimes a loving hug. This is not to be confused with the inappropriate touch of sexual molestation. An appropriate touch does not cause you to feel uncomfortable.
In these families, children communicate their needs to parents in positive ways. Children also respond to their parents with respect. Members of the family verbally express their care and concern for each other by saying, "I love you," or "I appreciate you." Other verbal courtesies such as, "please," "thank you," and "I apologize," are frequently used in everyday interactions. In these families, the use of kind words is valued. These parents teach, by example, that name calling, teasing and insults rob others of their self-worth.
In these families, physical and mental health are also valued. Therefore, the abuse of alcohol or drugs is discouraged. They study and use herbs and other natural substitutes to relieve the symptoms of common ailments. There are open discussions and positive communication about the dangers of illegal drugs and the abuse of alcohol. Some families explore alternatives to the use of legal drugs.
In these families, the members respect each other and their possessions by always remembering to ask permission before touching, taking or borrowing an item. They often take turns reading from a special book. Also, there is consistency in daily routines. In other words, there is a time for everything, and children know what to expect from day to day. You can feel safe in knowing that your parents will always make time to go grocery shopping and that you will always have food to eat. In a home where there is a set routine, there is time for homework, baths, bedtime and even fun time. Everyone is assigned chores and contributes to how the family functions. This fosters character traits such as responsibility and discipline. In addition to this, there is time set aside for quality family interaction. Often everyone in the family is busy with their own schedules. Spending time together is important, because it helps you to appreciate your similarities and differences. These families find special things to do together that are pleasant and morally enlightening to one another. Value the quality time you spend with your family and be thankful for each and every family member.
Another important aspect of a family trained with moral character is to resolve all conflicts by finding the peaceful solution that shows respect for other family members. No family member should ever purposely cause his or her spouse, child or sibling injury or abuse. Siblings should never fight, shove or push each other, nor should the adults physically injure each other or their children. Violence against others violates their right to be safe and free from harm.
Does this mean that in a family no one ever becomes angry? No, of course people become angry, irritable, frustrated and annoyed, as they try to overcome these traits. The important thing is that anger and frustration are expressed without kicking, shoving, pushing, cursing or name-calling, because family members are respectful to each other. They are also patient by trying to help each other solve their problems or mistakes. They tell each other why they are angry or sad and use positive communication to express their feelings and forgiveness.
Treating others with respect and using positive communication resolve conflicts and create peaceful solutions--a goal everyone should strive for. Negative communication and showing disrespect for others do not solve anything. In fact, they create more problems.
Children from families educated in positive morals know that family members can be trusted not to abuse or molest them in any way. In families educated in positive moral character, appropriate affection is shown to all members. In other words, it is appropriate for members of a family to display true love and concern, congratulations, appreciation and sometimes a loving hug. This is not to be confused with the inappropriate touch of sexual molestation. An appropriate touch does not cause you to feel uncomfortable.
In these families, children communicate their needs to parents in positive ways. Children also respond to their parents with respect. Members of the family verbally express their care and concern for each other by saying, "I love you," or "I appreciate you." Other verbal courtesies such as, "please," "thank you," and "I apologize," are frequently used in everyday interactions. In these families, the use of kind words is valued. These parents teach, by example, that name calling, teasing and insults rob others of their self-worth.
In these families, physical and mental health are also valued. Therefore, the abuse of alcohol or drugs is discouraged. They study and use herbs and other natural substitutes to relieve the symptoms of common ailments. There are open discussions and positive communication about the dangers of illegal drugs and the abuse of alcohol. Some families explore alternatives to the use of legal drugs.
In these families, the members respect each other and their possessions by always remembering to ask permission before touching, taking or borrowing an item. They often take turns reading from a special book. Also, there is consistency in daily routines. In other words, there is a time for everything, and children know what to expect from day to day. You can feel safe in knowing that your parents will always make time to go grocery shopping and that you will always have food to eat. In a home where there is a set routine, there is time for homework, baths, bedtime and even fun time. Everyone is assigned chores and contributes to how the family functions. This fosters character traits such as responsibility and discipline. In addition to this, there is time set aside for quality family interaction. Often everyone in the family is busy with their own schedules. Spending time together is important, because it helps you to appreciate your similarities and differences. These families find special things to do together that are pleasant and morally enlightening to one another. Value the quality time you spend with your family and be thankful for each and every family member.
Another important aspect of a family trained with moral character is to resolve all conflicts by finding the peaceful solution that shows respect for other family members. No family member should ever purposely cause his or her spouse, child or sibling injury or abuse. Siblings should never fight, shove or push each other, nor should the adults physically injure each other or their children. Violence against others violates their right to be safe and free from harm.
Does this mean that in a family no one ever becomes angry? No, of course people become angry, irritable, frustrated and annoyed, as they try to overcome these traits. The important thing is that anger and frustration are expressed without kicking, shoving, pushing, cursing or name-calling, because family members are respectful to each other. They are also patient by trying to help each other solve their problems or mistakes. They tell each other why they are angry or sad and use positive communication to express their feelings and forgiveness.
Treating others with respect and using positive communication resolve conflicts and create peaceful solutions--a goal everyone should strive for. Negative communication and showing disrespect for others do not solve anything. In fact, they create more problems.
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Want to find out more about family relationships, then visit Kelsey Simon's site on how to choose the best character trait for your needs.
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