Saturday 6 April 2013

How to Gain Self-Confidence in 8 Steps

By Diane C. Kuhn


Gaining self confidence is a very hard task, but it can be very achievable if you have patience, determination, and to truly believe that you are going to make it. The following are some of the ways through which you can gain self confidence:Learn your insecurities - In order to gain self confidence you have to locate those issues that make you uncomfortable. It can be a result of past experience, friends or general appearance. You can even write them down on a paper and tear it later to make you feel better.

You only need one thing when you go up the stage: confidence-an unaltered confidence. It's what makes your legs stop from trembling. It keeps your feet intact on the ground. It clears your mind for you to be able to concentrate on just the content of what you have to say. The dilemma right here is this: how are you going to gain that confidence?There are two kinds of public speaking you might be caught in. One is that kind in which you are given a period of time to prepare, such as guest speaker speech during a commencement exercise. The other kind is the speech in which you are caught off guarded, such as extemporaneous speeches or ambushed interviews.

Let's take the first kind first. Since you are given enough time to prepare for it, then you might as well take advantage of that time. Never take it for granted and start writing your speech at the last minute instead. A rushed speech will betray you of your confidence. The tendency is that, if you go unprepared, your mind will be rattled. And when your mind is as messed up as garbage, the words that will come out from you will be nothing but gibberish. You're definitely going to lose your audience. So if you want to turn on the other side of the table and make things right, organize your speech and do it well. Preparedness can make you confident. The reason is simple: you know what you're going to talk about beforehand. It's like showing your audience a painting you have worked hard for. You simply know your craft.

Allow being judged - You have to accept this because everyone, including me, judges other people. All you need to do is be okay with it; some will judge you positively and others negatively. This is hard! But you have to do it, just do not be so concerned on how people think about you. Appreciate yourself just the way you are and you are going to gain self-confidence.Help other people - By helping other people or just showing kindness, you create an awareness in your mind that you have a positive impact in the outside world. It helps to treat others how you want to be treated. When you constantly treat others kindly, they will begin to treat you the same way. Therefore this will help you gain self-confidence.

Help Someone.Helping someone makes you feel good. It also allows you to see some of the qualities you have that you may have overlooked. Being able to help someone is a subtle and often overlooked way on how to gain confidence. Think about it, being able to help someone says that you do have some good skills other needs.How to gain confidence? You need not do all of it. Feel free to mix and match. Try different things. The important part is act upon your plan.Have you ever felt the whole world was against you? No matter what you try, you just can't succeed, causing you to have a total lack of self-confidence. You may even feel that way now, but what I am about to share with you should pull you out of that place and into a mindset and feeling of total possibility and success to ensure you boost your self-confidence rapidly.While you feel isolated from everyone else when you are going through this phase with no confidence, within the next few minutes you will learn that you are not alone at all. In fact you will discover that you have more support at your disposal than you thought possible guaranteeing you to build confidence.

See my tips for building confidence and moving ahead,Sort out your finances.Financial issues seem to be a burden for many people at the moment. You can, however, control your cashflow and shake this weight off your shoulders. Start from controlling your budget. You may treat it as a game or a challenge so that it does not seem to you like you are actually cutting back. Prioritize your expenses and see where is it possible to save or at least spend less. The control of expenditure covers any possible extra income you may bring in. It may be overtime hours or an extra weekend/evening job.

But of course, confidence is to be distinguished from arrogance, which does not attract people or success. When you are confident, you believe in your own abilities but you do not need to look down at or mistreat others. In fact, the greater your confidence, the more you will act in a selfless, generous and engaging manner.Here are three top tips to help you develop confidence at work.Focus On Confidence.Confidence is ultimately an emotion. When you feel the emotion of confidence, it allows you to access inner resources that make you more capable and focussed. On the other hand, when you feel a lack of confidence, you will tend to hold back, not take risks and generally under-perform.But while confidence may be an emotion, developing it is more of a skill. And skill requires practice. Any complex skill that you are now able to perform, which includes reading, writing and talking required a lot of practice. Any skills at work that you are able to perform also required practice.

Get the facts right.The media coverage of the crisis is often greatly exaggerated and distorted. It is important that you limit your news intake as they may cause nervousness and enforce general negative attitude. Do not let yourself be pushed into fear and despair. You cannot, however, live in ignorance and oblivion to the facts. Research past financial downturns - they have all been overcome and the global economy emerged even stronger and better. Take a lesson from history and think positively about current situation. This recession will pass. Use your own judgment and instincts to gain hope and confidence in a positive turnaround of the events.

Choose who you spend time with wisely.Happiness is contagious, surround yourself with genuine and constructive people and some of their attitude will rub off on you and influence you in a positive way. You may want to spend more time with family; you need each other's support and faith. Give yourself small breaks and do something that makes you happy: meet with friends, take a walk in the park, go to cinema or treat yourself to a small gift.

So you need to take control. It's not that hard. Just set aside some time each day to develop your skills. Make it a ritual. It might be reading trade publications. It might be reading a book related to your field. The best time to do is first thing in the morning. That way, nothing else will get in its way.And something that really helps is to find another person or a group who share your desire for improvement. You will be able to motivate each other, discuss things you have learnt and generally help each other to maintain focus. All you need to do is improve a little bit each day, and pretty soon, you will notice a huge difference.The more capable you become, the more confident you will feel. It's like a self-reinforcing cycle. As you increase your confidence, you will feel more compelled to improve yourself.Putting It All Together.When you feel confident at work, you will enjoy it more, perform better and ultimately be more successful. Take steps to focus on developing your confidence, change your thoughts and invest time in getting better at what you do.




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